and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
