I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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