i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
