Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
