It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
