You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
