this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
