is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize