sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
