My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
