So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
