I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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