How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
