Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
