This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
