we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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