I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
