all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
