I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
