I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize