i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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