3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
