Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
