his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
