Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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