so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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