Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
