I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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