yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Randomize
