So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize