I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
