People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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