so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
