and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
