I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize