Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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