Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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