I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
