Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
