From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
