he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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