M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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