You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
