How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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