I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize