Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
