just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
