I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
