were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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