It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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