I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
