East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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