Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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