Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
