his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
