oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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