My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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