it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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