her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i permit you to call me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
