He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
