Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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