You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
