yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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